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Thoughts pop up my mind

The hobby I stuck longest in life is writing. The very first piece I penned was in 2002. A story narrated in the form of poem, of a goat and fox in a Zootopia type environment where animals lived in harmony. That was so much liked by my teacher that I was asked to read it in front of whole school in the morning assembly.
Writing is craft that requires years of patience and honing. Even after one and a half decade of efforts into it, I feel lacking many aspects and there are times when my words are inadequate to best describe the intensity of situation I find myself in. One of the biggest mysteries I’m to unravel is, how do not write myself into one of my characters. My mind keeps pondering on never ending questions. The more I dig deep, the more questions I am left with. How do I know my writing is good enough? What I am so profound of one night, throw away the next morning. Even my mind is shaky.
I write a lot and delete a lot. Many nights I have spent, lost in thoughts of an intriguing plot. Surroundings inspire me. I keep my eyes and ears open to pick slightest of hint. I often try to walk in shoes of others to understand their situation, to feel what they feel in the hope that the character I am working on would be more developed and mature this way.

I need to master the art of blowing words to silence. I need to excellent at walking into the imaginary scene and painting its perfect picture through my writing. In my pursuit of answers, I have been following work of great writers. What is it about their writings that made them great? What is the secret ingredient to keep a reader hooked till the end? How much detail should I capture with my words to bring a character into life?

In this journey of blowing words to my imaginations, thoughts and emotions, I’ve slowly blended into a character I never intended to. My self has transformed into a more compassionate, empathetic and patient soul. I understand things better than ever. And I’ve not walked very far from where I started. There is a long way to go. I wonder what this path holds for me. When an average human bleeds, all you see is red. When a writer bleeds, an astouding piece of work sees the light of the day. I’m ready to bleed as long as I can, as much as I can. I don’t know if would succeed. I am unsure it would work. What I know for sure is not every stone thrown fetches fruit. But don’t you throw second stone if first fails?

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A thing in particular I don’t like about life is that sometimes, you get to know someone only to realize later it wasn’t bound to last and a time comes when you have to let it go. It all starts as fun. You screw up sleeps only to live an extra hour in that enchantment. Slowly it grips you in its storm and before you know, it throws you to the other side of the emotional landscape where golden sunshines are annihilated by gloomy thunderstorms, pleasant autumns are taken over by harsh winters and rays of hope are veiled by incessant rains.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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She was like snowfall in extreme winters. She shown him with her soft snowflakes, gently caressed him, took his breathe away by showing him a glimpse of what magical world looks like and when he as cusp of losing his senses, she covered him brutally with thick layer of cold snow in one blow and laughed devilishly, “Oh Darling! Hope you get out this mess real soon.”

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal, All rights reserved.

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Sometimes, I find myself drowned in flood of emotions and if I don’t pen it down quickly, my head will burst for it can’t hold so much of information. It’s like hundreds of thousands of volts of current passing through the brain cells. It doesn’t matter if you read it. It doesn’t matter if I publish it. Akin to Pensieve it’s for me, where I pluck segment of my memory and preserve it, may be to review years later if it was worth all the pain and efforts.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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It’s a small world we live in. An event, no matter how small, triggers a ripple effect chaining to a myriad of things. The consequence? It takes into effect slowly, like a big monster, swallowing most important things around us. Who is at fault? Probably we don’t know for sure. The event might have happened in a different timeline, with us not being aware. We lose the sight of right and wrong, questioning our ability of judgement. And in such times, the greatest question to us is, “How do we react?”.
Thoughts are powerful things, being driven by such events. And then there are people who think that it’s just a piece of writing.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.

 

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In this hour of loneliness, I yearn for you as the drought longs for the water. Your absence has created a void in my soul. You flew like the autumn in my life with your pleasant refreshing breeze and rendered me colorful and significant. Damn, autumns are beautiful. If only I were a free bird, I would have followed you to the farthest place on earth just to spend one more season with you.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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Alcohol, it starts with a strong no-no and slowly intoxicates you without even realizing. You keep on taking it because you like it and one fine day, your liver stops functioning well. You know what the funny thing is? You don’t blame the alcohol. You feel unfortunate for liver not being strong enough. I guess have been like patient lately whose liver is damaged slowly by drinking you every evening and night. You took me down with your sweet intoxicating voice. I don’t care about liver anymore. All I want is one more bottle of intoxication.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal, All rights reserved.

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