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love

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July 8, 2018
Mary,
I just woke up and all I’m thinking bout’ is you. I feel distracted and my mind has taken the back seat. I open the window, see the sun going down the horizon and all I picture is taking a stroll with you until the stars make their way out of clouds and lie down there afterwards. Do you believe in afterlife, Mary? Or heaven? Your presence makes me feel there is one. I am unsure of what love is. But if I were to arrange it in words in the most beautiful way possible with the best of my abilities, I would picture it as an ocean which has no boundaries and stretches to infinity as far as one can see. I would picture it as alcohol which takes all the thoughts away and captivates one in its effect. I would picture it as the morning sunshine which annihilates darkness and brings hope that bright day is ahead.

You’ve done to me what spring does to cherry trees. You’ve changed me overwhelmingly in ways I could never have imagined. Your enchantment is like sleep. I fell for you slowly and then all at once.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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July 3, 2018
Mary,
I wonder if you’ve even the slightest clue on how much helpless I am finding myself today to express my deep feelings for you. For the first time ever in my life, I have fallen short of words. If only you were here, strolling quietly on the pavement with me, while cool breeze plays with your silky hair, I would have recited a poem in silence, for best of the conversations happen through eyes. No matter how powerful the words are, they are minuscule in matters of the heart.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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While flipping through the pages of the book he had gifted her on her birthday which she didn’t care to open until now, she found a paper folded in the heart shape. Imprints of the writing in blue were peeking at her. On the top, words were penned in glitter sparkling ink, “Happy birthday to the most beautiful person I’ve ever known”.

She opened it carefully. It was a letter.

Mary,
I’m quieter than quiet most of these days for I have no words left to say. Without you, minutes make me feel like years. Each clock tick hammers my heart increasing the wish to see you multifold. O dear! If only I could, I would have written hundred books on love and yet it won’t be enough to justify the strength of enchantment you’ve casted upon me. If only I could, I would have crossed universes and brought the brightest star for you and yet it would be nothing as compared to the glow of your smile. If only I could…

The letter became engrossing and more & more intense as she read. Each sentence was so beautifully crafted that if the words could take the shape of sound, it would have possessed the power to enchant the darkest of souls. And he had penned all this for her. Only her. The letter was like flowers to be kept between pages of the book for eternity. That night, she read the letter again before dinner, and before going to bed, and when she was not getting the sleep. She spent the next hour contemplating the words before reading it all over again.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal, All rights reserved.
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A thing in particular I don’t like about life is that sometimes, you get to know someone only to realize later it wasn’t bound to last and a time comes when you have to let it go. It all starts as fun. You screw up sleeps only to live an extra hour in that enchantment. Slowly it grips you in its storm and before you know, it throws you to the other side of the emotional landscape where golden sunshines are annihilated by gloomy thunderstorms, pleasant autumns are taken over by harsh winters and rays of hope are veiled by incessant rains.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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Sometimes, I find myself drowned in flood of emotions and if I don’t pen it down quickly, my head will burst for it can’t hold so much of information. It’s like hundreds of thousands of volts of current passing through the brain cells. It doesn’t matter if you read it. It doesn’t matter if I publish it. Akin to Pensieve it’s for me, where I pluck segment of my memory and preserve it, may be to review years later if it was worth all the pain and efforts.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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It’s a small world we live in. An event, no matter how small, triggers a ripple effect chaining to a myriad of things. The consequence? It takes into effect slowly, like a big monster, swallowing most important things around us. Who is at fault? Probably we don’t know for sure. The event might have happened in a different timeline, with us not being aware. We lose the sight of right and wrong, questioning our ability of judgement. And in such times, the greatest question to us is, “How do we react?”.
Thoughts are powerful things, being driven by such events. And then there are people who think that it’s just a piece of writing.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.

 

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Alcohol, it starts with a strong no-no and slowly intoxicates you without even realizing. You keep on taking it because you like it and one fine day, your liver stops functioning well. You know what the funny thing is? You don’t blame the alcohol. You feel unfortunate for liver not being strong enough. I guess have been like patient lately whose liver is damaged slowly by drinking you every evening and night. You took me down with your sweet intoxicating voice. I don’t care about liver anymore. All I want is one more bottle of intoxication.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal, All rights reserved.

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ख़ामोशी से क़त्ल करना कोई आपसे सीखे,
ये शाम तो यूँ ही बदनाम है,
आपकी आँखों से पिए जाम का नशा उतारे नहीं उतरता,
कम्बख्त ये शराब तो यूँ ही बदनाम है।

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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4 min read

I never ceased to marvel at the astounding beauty of the nature. Of all the wonders in the world, night sky intrigues me the most, for it obscures the path I walk on, yet it shows me the reason to do so. That’s life, isn’t it?

Stars and milky way have fascinated me since I gazed the sky the first time. As a child, I always fantasized about far away untouched lands, bright night skies and galaxies millions of light years away. The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart. Night skies, as dark and gloomy as they may sound, reminds me of the pleasing childhood routine to lie down on the roof and gaze the stars, slowly drifting in space at the peak of night until I fell asleep. The time when gadgets were less and skies used to be darker. I must say I found that curious child in me again in these cold dark winter nights.

Continue reading The wonders of night sky – Part 1

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2 min read

It was a lazy noon in summer, the time of the year when the sun is brightest, throwing its fire and burning every skin its rays fall upon. Good books are great companions. They don’t bore you. They are selfless. They entertain you, enlighten you and in return, they don’t ask for sacrifices. The reader opened a chapter from his favorite book and started reading quietly.

Time doesn’t wait for a person or an event to occur. Few things, fortunately for us, are timeless. Months had bled away since their last meeting. They stumbled upon each other again over coffee, probably for one last time. It was like old times, except something had changed with time. She had blossomed into a prettier and smarter woman. Her exuberance and flamboyance was storming him like hell. The new life had definitely done a remarkable work on her. She was never happier before.

Their deep meaningful talks were always very engrossing. It was an addiction. Once you’re deep inside, it’s hard to get out. But this time, it soon took a different, more interesting turn.

“So, how’s life? Did you get a new girlfriend? When are you getting married?”, she bombarded him with questions.

“Either I’m the most damaged and screwed up soul in the world or I’ve kept my doors tightly closed.”, he chuckled.

“You know it sounds almost impossible to hear statement like this from a person of your stature”, she said in a soft voice.

“Sometimes, I wonder how two persons end up living with one another the whole life without being bored”, he changed the topic swiftly like a traffic signal.

“Why so?”, she asked in wonder.

“You see human psychology is weird and all messed up. People usually get bored of things sooner or later. It is difficult to stick to one thing for long.”

“May be not if you get along with the right person. What kind of girl you’re looking for?”, she leaned forward.

“Well, I haven’t given a deep thought on this yet. But I think I am more inclined towards artistic things. Art fascinates me, for it doesn’t lie. It requires compassion, and patience. As you rightly said, choosing a life partner is the greatest risk one can take in life. It’s a lifelong bond of love, care and respect. I would like to end up with a girl who understands art or at least respects it.

“Well, here is the funny thing. The only such girl I know of is YOU.”, he said and tried to peek into her eyes. Some answers can’t be said in words.

The reader turned the page in haste as if it was a matter of life and death.

There was weird grave silence. She didn’t know what to say. If only god had designed heartbeats to be more throbbing, he could have probably known what was going on.

More than anything, the reader wished to have this exact conversation with the girl he strongly believes to be his potential better half. The only question was, was such a moment gonna happen in his life?

Farewell! Until we meet again.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal, All rights reserved.
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