love

वाक़िफ़ हम भी ना थे उनसे,
फिर भी हमने हाँ कह दिया,
उनकी अदा हि कुछ ऐसी थी,
ना चाहते हुए भी दिल फिसल गया।

Waqif hum bhi na the unse,
Phir bhi humne haan keh diya,
Unki ada hi kuch aisi thi,
Na chahte hue bhi dil fisal gaya.

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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ये सूरज कि किरणें तेरी रेशमी ज़ुल्फ़ों को चूमते हुए,
ये बर्फीली वादियों कि सफेदी तेरी नूरानी अँखियाँ को चमकाते हुए,
ये हवा कि ख़ामोशी के बीच तेरे हंसने कि आवाज़,
कैसे भुलूंगा मैं,

ये तेरे यौवन कि खुशबू चांदनी को पिघलाती हुई,
ये तेरे चेहरे कि रौशनी तारों को शर्माती हुई,
ये रात कि ख़ामोशी में तेरे गाने कि आवाज़,
कैसे भुलूंगा मैं,

ये तेरे आँखों कि नटखटी मस्तियाँ,
ये तेरे गुलाबी होठों कि मुस्कुराहटें,
ये लोगों के कदमो तले तेरी आहट का एहसास,
कैसे भुलूंगा मैं,
कैसे भुलूंगा मैं।

Yeh suraj ki kiranein teri reshmi zulfon ko chumte huye,
Yeh barfili wadiyaon ki safedi teri nurani ankhiyan ko chamkate huye,
Yeh hawa ki khamoshi ke bich tere hansne ki aawaz,
Kaise bhulunga main,

Yeh tere yauvan ki khushboo chandni ko pighlati hui,
Yeh tere chehre ki roshni taaron ko sharmati hui,
Yeh raat ki khamoshi mein tere gaane ki aawaz,
Kaise bhulunga main,

Yeh tere aankhon ki natkhati mastiyan,
Yeh tere gulabi hothon ki muskuratein,
Yeh logon ke kadmo tale teri aahat ka ehsas,
Kaise bhulunga main,
Kaise bhulunga main.

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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Meri diary ke kore pannon se,
Tum meri chahat ko mat aaqna,
Yeh ishq hi aisa hai ghalib,
Kambakht lafz kam pad jate hain.

मेरी डायरी के कोरे पन्नो से,
तुम मेरी चाहत को मत ऑकना,
ये इश्क हि ऐसा है ग़ालिब,
कम्बखत लफ्ज़ कम पड़ जाते हैं।

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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Har roz diary khol kar,
Bas yahi socha karta hun,
Kya likhun unke baare mein,
Khud se pucha karta hun,
Likhte unke baare mein hain,
Jinhe hum bakhubi jante hain,
Yahan toh barso beet gaye,
Phir bhi hum anjaan hain.

हर रोज़ डायरी खोल कर,
बस यही सोचा करता हूँ,
क्या लिखूं उनके बारे में,
खुद से पूछा करता हूँ,
लिखते उनके बारे में हैं,
जिन्हे हम बखूबी जानते हैं,
यहाँ तो बरसो बीत गए,
फिर भी हम अनजान हैं।

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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Unse milne ka maza hi kuch alag hai,
Hum yun hi apna hosh na kho baithe the,
Unki sharbati aankhein aur reshmi julfein,
Kambakht dil unka gulam ho baitha tha,
Bas yun kahein ki nasha unki aankhon mein tha,
Aur madhosh hum hue ja rahe the.

उनसे मिलने का मज़ा हि कुछ अलग है,
हम यूँ हि अपना होश ना खो बैठे थे,
उनकी शरबती आँखें और रेशमी जुल्फें,
कम्बख्त दिल उनका गुलाम हो बैठा था,
बस यूँ कहें कि नशा उनकी आँखों में था,
और मदहोश हम हुए जा रहे थे।

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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Ittefaq bhi badi azeeb cheez hai,
Jinse milne ko hum mahino taras rahe the,
Unka deedar yun chalte chalte ho gaya,
Waise toh hum thehre shabdon se khelne wale,
Unhe dekh lafzon ka karwan ruk gaya,
Hoth sile ke sile reh gaye,
Aur aankhon hi aankhon mein ishara ho gaya,
Unki aankhon ka nasha yun chadha til til,
Yeh pagal dil phir se unka deewana ho gaya.

इत्तेफ़ाक़ भी बड़ी अजीब चीज़ है,
जिनसे मिलने को हम महीनो तरस रहे थे,
उनका दीदार यूँ चलते चलते हो गया,
वैसे तो हम ठहरे शब्दों से खेलने वाले,
उन्हें देख लफ़्ज़ों का कारवां रुक गया,
होठ सिले के सिले रह गए,
और आँखों हि आँखों में इशारा हो गया,
उनकी आँखों का नशा यूँ चढ़ा तिल तिल,
ये पागल दिल फिर से उनका दीवाना हो गया।

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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Kal shaam anayas unse mulaqat ho gai,
Phir se wahi purane lamhe yaad dila gai,
Jakhm waise hi bhare na the dil ke,
Us par ek aur gehra waar kar gai,

Mast befikar tha apni zindagi mein,
Inn khushiyon mein darar kar gai,
Bhul gaya tha lafzon mein byaan karna,
Ek baar phir mujhe shayar bana gai.

कल शाम अनायास उनसे मुलाक़ात हो गई,
फिर से वही पुराने लम्हे याद दिला गई,
जख्म वैसे हि भरे ना थे दिल के,
उस पर एक और गहरा वार कर गई,

मस्त बेफिक्र था अपनी ज़िन्दगी में,
इन खुशियों में दरार कर गई,
भूल गया था लफ़्ज़ों में ब्यान करना,
एक बार फिर मुझे शायर बना गई।

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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July 13, 2012

Dear Mary,

I won’t ask how are you, because I know you would be gleaming with happiness living in your beautiful world. And I wish you to be always the same. I won’t ask you about your whereabouts either, because it will tempt me to follow you no matter how far you are.

Do you remember the first day we met and I had almost evinced that I like you until you told me something that stopped me right there? Since that moment, I never stopped loving you. Day after day after day, it just kept on growing stronger. My love for you is like sleep. It started slowly and I fell all at once. People say there is no magic in this world. They just don’t look for it in the right place.

Days bled into years. There are things in life which are hard to change. Yes, “The fault in our stars” is still my favorite and no matter how many times I watch it, my heart takes control over my brain and I think of nothing but you. I dated many gorgeous girls, yet my heart longs for you. I traveled places to look for someone like you, yet when I see pictures of us, my breathes skip.

While I am composing this, that song is playing in the background and I feel so much connected with it:

So many people all around the world,
Tell me where do I find, someone like you girl,
Take me to your heart, take me to your soul,
Hold my hand before I’m old,

Just wanted to let you know, you are the only love of my life. Hope someday you will understand my feelings and that day would be the second happiest day of my life.
Yours,
Peter

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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It’s been 8 years in row when I last laughed on the day of romance. Every year, I had a belief that may be I would be lucky to get a chance to smile again, lucky to meet special someone to share my feelings with again. With years, my thoughts matured as I grew up. I know if someone is meant to be with you, to love you, to smile with you, to go nuts with you, there won’t be a valentine’s day to decide this. A valentine’s day is just another day. People have found extraordinary love on ordinary days.

I now spend the day in peace. It has become more of a habit now. I wake up in the morning, brush my teeth, take a shower, talk to people, like statuses of people falling in love, close my eyes for a while and wonder if anyone special is there out for me, dine and go to sleep. With each passing year, I have grown stronger in matters of love. Now I am careful because I know at the end of the day, it hurts. Breakup is painful. It cripples your brain and breaks down your nervous system. You just can’t think straight. You keep on asking the same question over and over again, “Why me?.

You must be wondering if I am optimistic about this year. Well I am not. It’s not because I am looking for the perfect girl. I am looking for someone I can spend next 50 years of my life with irrespective of all her imperfections. Perfection is a myth. A perfect girl doesn’t exist. I am looking for someone with whom I can talk to for hours without getting bored. A girl who can understand me when noone will. A girl with whom I can share my craziest of thoughts without worrying about her reactions. A girl who is as weird as I am. A girl who has passion, confidence, is willing to take chances and explore the world. I find confidence a terribly sexy quality in girl. When I see her, it feels like fireworks are going off. And and… style. She should really know how to wear a dress. Finding such a girl would take time. A day won’t change a dime. I would prefer to wait than hurry. The secret formula to be happy is to be with someone who makes you feel alive every single time you see her smile. It makes you realize that you are the reason behind her pretty smile and whatever you do, is worth it because moments like this are precious.

So this year also I will pass the day silently pretending that it is just another day. I will wake up in the morning, brush my teeth, blah! blah! blah!, dine and go to sleep.

Happy valentine’s day in advance! If you have got that special person, you are the luckiest 🙂

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.

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I very well remember the day I met you. The day I saw you, I talked to you.

As I’m writing this, all those golden moments we spent together are flashing in front of my eyes. Those were some of the best days of my life and you changed me for good. I learned to laugh. I learned to care. I learned to see the world from a different perspective altogether. All I can say is that you have given me memories I will cherish. You had a bad impression on me in a good sense. I am a very careful person. But for some reasons, it was hard to be careful when you were around me. I am the kind of person who prefers to bottle up the feelings to make sure noone gets hurt.

While I always liked you and loved you, you never really cared about my feelings. All those long hours were fake. Somehow, I feel you knew this all along. I waited long, really long. Days, weeks, months.

So it’s enough.

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t let emotions trick me into false believes that we can be together. If we were meant to be together, it would have already happened.

In this dilemma between heart and mind, heart has played me enough. Love was always my weakness. It’s time to let mind take the decisions. It’s time to move on. So here is me, letting you finally go. I wish you all the best. Whatever you do, be happy. Because it was your smile which made me fall for you the very first day.

Copyright © 2016, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.

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